Mismatch [Levi x Reader] Part Eleven

"You shouldn't hurt other people just to get what you want," you breathed. Erwin glanced up in alarm, and you took it as a cue. The commander's head turned as your hand smarted. "You could have just told me," you whispered. "You could have just said that you loved me. We could have avoided this mess. You wouldn't have hurt anyone. Everyone could have been happy.

"And now, what are you? A commander that will stop at nothing to get what he wants?" You laughed, sardonic. "Some caring commander you are! For all the kids' names like Papa Erwin and Commander Handsome, it isn't even true.

"I guess all I'll ever be is prey to you, isn't it? To anyone? Won't you consider how it fucking feels, for a moment, and see that it's never amazing to be wanted that way?"

"But—"

"Shut up!" Your knee connected with his stomach, and he grunted. "You're nothing but a monster, telling people to do whatever it is you wanna have done, letting people die for absolutely no reason at all!" You gasped, the tears streaking to the floor. "It doesn't matter if you're facing a titan or a man or a woman! You haven't felt what it feels like to be some sort of stupid prize to be won, e-everyone fighting for the same thing or-or fighting for something you'll never have, and I doubt you ever will!"

"Wh-why?" he croaked. "I—I never...."

"That's right," you screamed at him. "You never! I was never fighting for you from the start, Erwin!" He winced; the malice, the scorn in your voice palpable. "We humans have nothing! We're surrounded like prey, and that means there's less of everything going around!

"I'm nice to everyone because they deserve it, not because I like them! I'm strong to everyone because they need it, not for this useless cause of annihilating the titans! I fight, not to save humanity but to defend it!

"You're nothing more than a titan doing whatever it does best: take whatever for itself." You shook your head. "There's no room in this world to fight amongst each other, Erwin. Not anymore." You laughed, empty and ironic. "We're among the last of humanity, among the strongest, no less. Wasn't it taught that we should share whatever we have? Oh that's right: nothing is fair in this life.

"Yet," you breathed, "there's nothing wrong with making it fairer for everyone."


Everything was coming back into focus. Especially the pain.

You opened your eyes, squinting. It was like being woken up too early after a harrowing day of training.

"[First]?"

Hanji was right there, sitting beside your bed. You opened your mouth, no sound came out.

You were practically mute.

"The screaming must have taken effect." She laughed humourlessly. "Probably scratched your throat raw." Your lower lip jutted out a little and you frowned in a pout.

"You've been asleep for more than three days," she said quietly, far from the fellow squad leader you loved. "Everyone has been worried." Your eyes caught sight of the tankard beside you; Hanji noticed your longing and helped you to sit up to drink. The sigh of relief felt cool and amazing.

"How is everyone?" you whispered hoarsely.

"Everyone's fine," she said. "Erwin still feels the hit from his stomach. Levi's back on track. I still have a bad bump on my head." She reached around to her bun and winced.

"Sorry," you breathed, looking down at your clasped hands.

She shrugged. "None of this was your fault," she murmured. "It was mine."

Your gaze shot to hers. What?

She nodded sadly. "I wanted to match you up with Levi," she admitted. "The plan was to get him jealous—hence Erwin—and assert dominance like, 'HEY this my bitch' you know?" You nodded, knowing just how overprotective the corporal could be, no matter how much he kept it under wraps or behind insults and curses.

"But then," she said, "it backfired.

"Erwin took a liking to you after a few days, something I'd brushed off because I knew somehow, he was looking at you from behind anything he could hide in. I guess he took this as a chance to get to know you better, and I guess he did all he could. Even to coat his office with Levi's blood."

Your eyes widened. He would do that??

Hanji rubbed her arm. "There's....there's also another reason why I had Erwin make Levi jealous." Her eyes met yours, where above was a frown, curious. She dropped her gaze. "Remember I told you Erwin had the hots for you?" Your frown deepened, but you nodded. "Well, I thought Levi would do whatever I wanted him to do—which came a little later than expected—and then I could step in and take Erwin in."

Your sheets were going to be wet from the spray.

She nodded. "It's true. I liked Erwin far more than was necessary. And when I saw just how close you were to Erwin three days ago—just how far you've gone for you to be in his room, half-naked...." She shook her head, and you bit your lip. Oh.

Hanji was jealous.

"I didn't know what to do." Her speech was peppered with hiccups, stutters. "It was never customary for the woman to say it first, and I didn't want to come across as dominant or anything and scare him off. I—I—"

You pulled her close; it was all too much to take in, even for you. She clutched your shirt, and you felt the wet spots.

"I'm sorry!" she gasped. "I—I never meant to hurt anybody, but you-you said that you wanted Levi, and I thought I could help...I thought it was win-win...."

"Shh." It was all you could do to help, considering how bedridden you were.

Hanji left soon after, leaving you with another glass of water and your favorite book to read. You had no sense of time, but it was sundown by the time Petra stepped in.

"Petra."

But no matter how many times you called her name, she didn't turn to face you.

She must've known.

The news must have spread like wildfire.

Before you knew it, you'd broken down once more. Your throat will be sore all through to tomorrow.

Levi probably won't come over, either. If he would, he'd probably curse your ass all over and scorn you like there was no tomorrow. He'd probably reject you entirely, but only because you'd fallen for it. For Erwin.

For?

Holy shit.

Not that you had it bad, you considered the fact that you liked the commander, no matter what happened, no matter what his demons were.

You liked him.

That was a very new possibility, since about three days ago.

But was there still a slim chance that you were still in love, just not with the man with a big name?

Probably.

Possibly.

Apparently.

And right now, he was standing in the doorway of [Last] and Ral's quarters.